I don't want to think of myself as an old granny who's frail or weak. I'm a mature lady who has an interesting daily routine. I cook breakfast - egg and sausage for my toast bread. I do gardening as I love plants/flowers. I get naughty at night.

I've had a battery-operated boyfriend for the past 5 years and it does more good to me than my prick of an ex-husband if we're being honest. I'm still craving for a well hung lad though, nothing beats the elementary kind of fucking.

I am far from being senile, I have energy that could compete with most young lads now. I may not be as good at pulling gents as I did before, but I guarantee a good time and pleasurable experience to those who do fall for my charms.

We all had that not so innocent fantasies about authorities disciplining us in the most delicious ways. My favourite scenario hands down would be a lady like me getting caught by the police for being indecent in public and then taught a lesson.

Afternoon tea is boring! I don't know why it's expected that ladies as old as me would enjoy them, but I'd rather have fish and chips plus a pint of Guinness. The icing on the cake would be to have a hot and heavy shag with a lad at the end of the ni...

Bubble baths and a waterproof vibrator, you can never go wrong with ending the night that way. I've spent so many nights through the years releasing tension in such a way that I would feel barmy when I don't. I'm not even ashamed of being loud when I...